Everton
Demarai Gray has admitted to falling out of love with football during the final six months of his Leicester City career, causing him to make “wrong decisions”. The winger ended a five-year spell with City in January this year, spending half a season with Bayer Leverkusen before returning to the Premier League with Everton this summer. Gray had ended the 2019-20 season in decent form, scoring in a win over Sheffield United and setting up goals in draws with Watford and Arsenal once football went behind closed doors, but returned from the summer break out of favour and could not play his way even onto the bench. He played just 18 minutes of Premier League football with City before moving to the Bundesliga, in what was a tough period in his career. While not wishing to expand, he said that during that time he made some poor choices.
Demarai Gray said: “It was very hard. Any time you go on the pitch and touch the ball, it is the way to keep going, because of your natural love of the game. But it got to the point where I lost the love for it. It is a team game and I never want to cause any problems. My attitude is good. But if you are not being rewarded for training well, you ask yourself: ‘What’s the point?’ You have to find it in yourself to stay strong. If you go in and sulk it is a wasted day. But it is how you are feeling and coping at home. At the start, I didn’t cope well. I probably made the wrong decisions… but I don’t regret it, it is part of learning. If I am in that situation again, I have to focus on getting back in the team, not waste time making the wrong decisions.”
Gray’s time in Germany started well, with a goal and two assists in his first three games, appearing to justify his decision to move to the Bundesliga rather than to an unnamed Premier League suitor. But off the field, his initial struggles helped him realise that he thrives in an environment he knows.
Demarai Gray said: “It (moving to Germany) was difficult at the beginning. You feel sorry for yourself, at times, and the Covid situation made it tougher. But I took myself out of my comfort zone and had to mature. My girlfriend came out after a while and I began adapting to the culture and German life. I learned a lot from it. I recognised I am a home person and need my family around me. In Birmingham, I had my mum and nan and uncle 15 minutes away, so I could relax. Out there, you go to work, get back, eat, sleep and repeat. It toughened up my thought processes and turned me into more of a man, I think. And the way things have worked out is perfect. If I chose the other option it wouldn’t have been possible to make it happen when Everton wanted me. Growing up, if someone mentioned Everton I’d think: ‘Yeah, big club, good club, when Goodison is bouncing it is really bouncing.’ Coming here was an easy decision.”
Hoping to reignite his career at Goodison Park and fulfil the potential shown in his early days at Birmingham, Gray says he has learned to ignore the online scrutiny that comes his way. He said he would purposely seek out negative comments during his time at City.
Demarai Gray said: “Every young player will enjoy the hype, you start to recognise your potential and how people see you. But the minute there is a dip, the player starts questioning themselves. I was thinking: ‘Am I this? Am I that? Am I disappointing people?’ As you mature, you understand it doesn’t matter. You have to enjoy the game to get the best out of yourself. I used to look for the praise and the negative comments. I would let the negative things affect me. But it is a waste of mental energy, isn’t it? I want to do what my manager and team need from me. Then, ultimately, I’m doing this for myself and my family. Sometimes, I think about how I’d feel if I don’t achieve what I know I can. That scares me, because I know when I finish my career, I wouldn’t be satisfied. I put pressure on myself because I know my capabilities. But you have to simplify football, not complicate it. I have the approach of just going out and playing. It is what I have done since I was four. What is different 20 years later? I am in the best league in the world and am pretty sure that is a compliment to my talent.”
